COUNSELING AND CONSULTATION ASSOCIATES, INC.COUNSELING AND CONSULTATION ASSOCIATES, INC.
Phillip L. Blansett, Ph.D.
1621 Eagle Trace Drive
Mount Juliet, Tennessee 37122-7428
(615) 758-7568
Website: http://DrBlansett.com
Email: DrBlansett@DrBlansett.com
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Neighbors Helping Neighbors in Parenting
by
Phillip L. Blansett, Ph.D.
PRIVACY ... the word causes controversy, stirs insecurities, fans the fires of conflict, and comes up often in daily conversation. We want our privacy. What, then, is the proper balance of allowing children their own privacy? Do parents have the right to inspect, search, or look around their child's room? You bet they do. That has been decided in courts over and over again. Indeed, as in the case of the Columbine Bombers, our nation expresses outrage that at least one of the killers, simply a child himself, had bombs and firearms on display in his room, if only his parents had "snooped." For what good purpose is a haven given to children who might harbor bombs, drugs, pornography, or other things that deserve the light of day and the correction that would bring. But privacy has become a greater issue than the privacy of one's room. Privacy within the home has become a greater issue for our society. The telephone has become an opportunity for sales folk to intrude into our homes. Every marriage and family counselor worth their salt advocates "family meetings" as a method for increasing conversation and defusing conflicts. Often, though, families tell about how their attempts at family meetings are thwarted by intrusive telephone calls. Just as they sit down, those that actually try it, the telephone rings. It's the office for Mom or Dad, or a friend for Junior or Sis, and there goes the meeting. Although most phones have "Ringer Off" switches on them, it is amazing how few people use them. As if the people who called couldn't or wouldn't call back, leave a message or page you if it was indeed an emergency. Studies have shown consistently that families that have weekly family meetings undisturbed by outside influences have a much greater likelihood of staying together, and more importantly, having a better quality of life. Studies have also shown consistently that families that turn off the TV while eating, and silence the telephone while eating likewise have a lower separation and divorce rate, and consider themselves having a better quality of life. It can be done, you just have to want it to be. Privacy, it's precious. It's also a balance. Privacy within the home for children and teens. Should a teen be allowed to have a telephone in his room? Oh, that is a subject too complex for this week's column. I'll just leave you with the thought: "Why in the world would a parent allow that?"
Next week we'll continue to examine how neighbors can help neighbors in parenting.
Dr. Phillip Blansett is a psychotherapist in private practice in Nashville and West Wilson County.
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