COUNSELING AND CONSULTATION ASSOCIATES, INC.COUNSELING AND CONSULTATION ASSOCIATES, INC.
Phillip L. Blansett, Ph.D.
1621 Eagle Trace Drive
Mount Juliet, Tennessee 37122-7428
(615) 758-7568
Website: http://DrBlansett.com
Email: DrBlansett@DrBlansett.com
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Neighbors Helping Neighbors in Parenting
by
Phillip L. Blansett, Ph.D.
Recently a newspaper reported a "Teen Convicted of Shoplifting $1.09 Iced Tea", The article then began disclosing confusion often felt in our society as it changed from referring to the "teen" to referring to the thief as a "man". Sometimes an 18 year old is called a "teen" and "teen behavior" is expected. At other times that same 18 year old is called a "man" and "adult behavior" is expected. The reality is that his conviction had nothing to do with iced tea, or how much it cost. The Man/boy/Teen/adult was not convicted of shoplifting a $1.09 iced tea beverage, he was convicted of the crime of shoplifting (stealing). Perhaps it could be said that the Man/Teen demonstrated poor judgment in risking such a conviction with its resulting attorney fees and criminal record. His investment of risk for only a $1.09 return was certainly out of proportion to its penalty, but that is the responsibility of any risk taker to judge. Finally, a word of encouragement to Kroger's, who knows better than many, that it doesn't depend on what the phrase "Zero Tolerance" is. Zero tolerance is Kroger's only real defense against the "good old boy", "he didn't really mean to steal it," argument that can be applied to one group or individual in preference to another group or individual. It's refreshing to find at least one segment in our society that both says and behaves consistently. There is no tolerance for those who shoplift (steal). Who would argue differently? In earlier articles I've introduced the phrase: "The only thing worse than learning from experience is NOT learning from experience." One has to question what the "teen/man" learned from his experience. Hopefully he learned something. So often, when held accountable for poor choices, anger and resentment is displayed toward the instructor. Parenting choices, in this case, might appropriately be to congratulate Kroger for the lesson they taught. Imagine if the "teen/man" had not been caught. It's not hard to imagine the lesson that would be learned in that case. Who knows? Is it likely that this was the first time the 18-year old had ever done anything like that? Do you think? Imagine if the "teen/man" had been caught, but Kroger had decided just to drop the whole thing. It's not hard to imagine the lesson that would be learned in that case, either. Who knows? Is it likely that it would have been the first time he broke the rules and got off scot free? Do you think? Yes, learning from experience is hard. Not learning is harder.
Next week we'll continue to examine how neighbors can help neighbors in parenting.
Dr. Phillip Blansett is a psychotherapist in private practice in Nashville and West Wilson County.
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