COUNSELING AND CONSULTATION ASSOCIATES, INC.COUNSELING AND CONSULTATION ASSOCIATES, INC.
Phillip L. Blansett, Ph.D.
1621 Eagle Trace Drive
Mount Juliet, Tennessee 37122-7428
(615) 758-7568
Website: http://DrBlansett.com
Email: DrBlansett@DrBlansett.com
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Neighbors Helping Neighbors in Parenting
by
Phillip L. Blansett, Ph.D.
Summer is always a fun time for me. It's the time of vacations, and a little more relaxed work schedule. Its also the time for reality checks. Both as a teacher, back when I taught, and as a parent attending parent-teacher conferences, I have been amazed at the "denial" we parents often have. We hear the teacher describe our child, and so often don't recognize him or her for the imperfect being the teacher sees. UNTIL SUMMER. We used to call it: Teacher's Revenge. The first few weeks and the last few weeks are the best. The first few weeks usually present the opportunity for parents to begin opening their eyes and seeing what the teacher has seen all along. The kid does assignments haphazardly or doesn't listen well to instructions. Maybe there was something to that report. Then the last few weeks of summer is often filled with cries of "Please take him. Take him NOW! Can't we reconsider year around schooling!!!" This past Fourth of July holiday sort of captured many of society's ills for me. Our family was making its annual trek to the local fireworks store with the hope that maybe most will actually explode this year. There in the gaggle of various ages looking at the display tables were two cute middle class boys. One was systematically punching a hole in the wrapping of every roman candle on the table. His hand didn't accidently find itself stretched out punching the holes, that boy knew exactly what he was doing. A gentleman next to him gently and quietly suggested to the boy that he really shouldn't be punching those holes. The boy's father, who until that point had been ignoring everyone in his own quest for the perfect firework, told the gentleman to mind his own business. The boy continued punching his holes. The shopkeeper, overhearing the man's comment, went over to the boy and asked his dad to have the boy stand outside of the tent. They left in a huff of anger. They acted as if they had been wronged. The father had been asked to supervise his son, and when the father ignored the request the shopkeeper took the only real protective action available, asking the boy to stand outside the tent until his dada and friend were finished. I wonder how the gentleman feels. I wonder if he will dare speak out again, or mind his own business. Which brings me to the subject of this article. Isn't it everyone's business how our children are being raised? If not our business today, won't it become our business tomorrow when that boy begins slashing tires or people? We know that the sudden events of today really didn't happen suddenly. Like a good pot of beans, we only taste the last few minutes of cooking, but it took hours to get them to that point. Most adolescent and adult behaviors have their beginnings early on when opportunities for correction have been ignored for avoided.
Next week we'll continue to examine how neighbors can help neighbors in parenting.
Dr. Phillip Blansett is a psychotherapist in private practice in Nashville and West Wilson County.
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