COUNSELING AND CONSULTATION ASSOCIATES, INC.COUNSELING AND CONSULTATION ASSOCIATES, INC.
Phillip L. Blansett, Ph.D.
1621 Eagle Trace Drive
Mount Juliet, Tennessee 37122-7428
(615) 758-7568
Website: http://DrBlansett.com
Email: DrBlansett@DrBlansett.com
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Neighbors Helping Neighbors in Parenting
by
Phillip L. Blansett, Ph.D.
There were three phrases that I remember well from my childhood. "Put your 'game face' on!" was a phrase my coaches and Little League managers would say before every game. "If you don't stop grinning, I'm going to knock that smile right off of your face!" was a phrase used by my mother, various teachers, and my Air Force Flight Instructor. "You don't look like you appreciate what I've given you." was a third phrase that an Aunt would say when, at my 10th birthday, I didn't seem so excited about the new hankie she gave me when I was hoping for a BB gun. Those were the days when we told children what we considered to be acceptable responses. I never dreamed, for instance, of rolling my eyes at my mother, when she disapproved of something I did or didn't do. The notion of a "game face" returns, though from time to time. I had to replace our car's battery this weekend. I went to the parts store and stood in a rather long line. I had time to observe my fellow customers. Everyone had on what appeared to be their "game faces". Avoiding eye contact with strangers, lest they accidently become friends, it was apparent that they were all business and didn't like the business they had. I imagined this man or that lady. They probably had a cat they loved, perhaps a dog, or even a spouse or children. I wondered if they kept their scowling game faces on when they were talking with them? Perhaps so. I just couldn't see the "game faced lady" looking at her purring kitten while displaying her "game face" and growling "AAArrrgh!" But we live in a world that is increasingly hostile. When we interface with other citizens we are, more often than not, confronted with a "game face" of disinterest if not hostility. Which brings us back to the beginning of this article. We're apparently not telling our children the secrets to community life that we were told. Smile, and the world smiles with you. Take the time to make a friend. And never, never, roll you eyes at your mother. One final thing. Remember that restaurant I mentioned a couple of weeks ago? I got lots of comments about that article. People agreed with what I had written more that probably anything I've written to date. I think our society has finally gotten tired of sagged pants and underpants on display. Everyone, that is, except for the restaurant's owner who has never responded to the letter I wrote him. You'd think he'd at least say "thanks!" for my investment of a stamp, stationary and the time it took to write. You know, I think I'm beginning to learn a few things from reading my articles. As good as the food is there, it is not worth the indifference displayed by the owner. Making changes requires recognition that something needs to be changed, and the determination to make the change. Lets keep "game faces" on the playing field and out of our daily lives.
Next week we'll continue to examine how neighbors can help neighbors in parenting.
Dr. Phillip Blansett is a psychotherapist in private practice in Nashville and West Wilson County.
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