COUNSELING AND CONSULTATION ASSOCIATES, INC.COUNSELING AND CONSULTATION ASSOCIATES, INC.
Phillip L. Blansett, Ph.D.
1621 Eagle Trace Drive
Mount Juliet, Tennessee 37122-7428
(615) 758-7568
Website: http://DrBlansett.com
Email: DrBlansett@DrBlansett.com
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Neighbors Helping Neighbors in Parenting
by
Phillip L. Blansett, Ph.D.
A lot has been said about the right and needs of teens to "express themselves". One can't help but be struck by the "expressions" of self as one watches the news accounts of teens in towns where school shootings took place, and even here at home. Noses pierced, tongues pierced, eyebrows pierced, all in efforts at "self expression". Mayor Koch said it best when he said "they look oddball." But we are told we are supposed to squelch our own self expression and not laugh when we see someone with black fingernail polish and black eye shadow, looking like they are waiting for Halloween. What if OUR "self expression" is laughing at "oddballs"? It doesn't seem to work for everyone, this "self expression" thing. My family and I ate recently at our favorite area restaurant. As we ate, people who were seated at tables around us finished and left. The bus boy (they still call them that don't they or are they Finished Dish Specialists?) would come out and clean the table. He wore his pants, as many do, three or four sizes too big. As he worked on the table his pants would drop down below the gluteal fold, exposing his buttocks clad in red and green tartan boxers. My wife and I find that offensive. It may be his "self expression" to expose his underpants as far down as below his butt, but my self expression is to stop eating there. At some time, if its not going to be the parents, or the employer, the public needs to set some standards as to what is odd ball and what is not. Sure, he has the right to expose his underpants in public, I suppose. Maybe it turns him on for his slacks to be constantly sliding down. But it was a decided turn off for my wife and me. When you are confronted by a face full of metal eyebrow rings worn by an employee who is there to serve you, first caution him or her to stay out of lightening storms, and then take your business elsewhere. Employers will soon understand how to tell their bus boys to "pull your pants up" or provide them with suspenders, or hire other ones in their place. Restoring our society to one of mutual responsibility and interdependence begins with you and me expressing ourselves as well. So, how did your experiment with staying at or below the speed limit go? We certainly have our work cut out for ourselves, watching our speed while driving, not crossing double yellow lines, telling those whom we pay to serve us that they look ridiculous with their "self expression" that would best be saved for private times. Freedom isn't free. Why, I can remember a time when there weren't police in schools, boys carried pen knives to whittle with on the play ground, and there didn't need to be a dress code because mom and dad made you change if you were looking "odd ball".
Next week we'll continue to examine how neighbors can help neighbors in parenting.
Dr. Phillip Blansett is a psychotherapist in private practice in Nashville and West Wilson County.
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